(독서) Daily Stoic-10월15일 GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

"Are you angry when someone's armpits stink or when their breath is bad? What would be the point? Having such a mouth and such armpits, there's going to be a smell emanating. You say, they must have sense, can't they tell how they are offending others? Well, you have sense too, congratulations! So, use your natural reason to awaken theirs, show them, call it out. If the person will listen, you will have cured them without useless anger. No drama nor unseemly show required. -MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 5.28 ("누군가의 겨드랑이에서 악취가 나거나 입냄새가 날 때, 당신은 화가 납니까? 그럴 필요가 있나요? 그런 입과 그런 겨드랑이를 가졌다면, 당연히 냄새가날 것입니다. 당신은 말합니다, 그들은 상식이 있으니, 다른 사람들에게 불쾌감을 주는 것을 알지 않습니까? 그렇다면 축하합니다, 당신도 상식이 있군요! 그러니 당신의 본능적인 이성을 이용해 상대방의 이성을 일깨우고, 그것을 보여주고, 불러내세요. 상대방이 귀를 기울인다면 쓸데없는 분노 없이 상대방을 치료한 것입니다. 드라마틱하거나 보기 흉한 쇼는 필요 없습니다. -마르쿠스 아우렐리우스, 명상록, 5.28)   The person sitting next to you on the plane, the one who is loudly chattering and knocking around in your space? The one you're grinding your teeth about, hating from the depth of your soul because they're rude, ignorant, obnoxious? In these situations, you might feel it takes everything you have to restrain yourself from murdering them.   It's funny how that thought comes into our heads before, you know, politely asking them to stop, or making the minor scene of ...

"The best way to avenge yourself is to not be like that." -MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.6 ("자신을 복수하는 가장 좋은 방법은 그들과 같아지지 않는 것입니다." - 마르쿠스 아우렐리우스, 명상록, 6.6)   "How much better to heal than seek revenge from injury. Vengeance wastes a lot of time and exposes you to many more injuries than the first that sparked it. Anger always outlasts hurt. Best to take the opposite course. Would anyone think it normal to return a kick to a mule or a bite to a dog?"-SENECA, ON ANGER, 3.27.2 ("상처를 치유하는 것이 상처로부터 복수하는 것보다 얼마나 나은가. 복수는 많은 시간을 낭비하며, 첫 번째 상처를 불러온 것보다 더 많은 상처를 입게합니다. 분노는 항상 상처보다 오래 지속됩니다. 차라리 반대의 길을 택하는 것이 좋습니다. 누가 노새에게 발길질을 당했다고 다시 발길질하는 것이 당연하다고 생각하겠습니까? 개에게 물렸다고 다시 물어야 할까요?" - 세네카, 분노에 대하여, 3.27.2)   Let's say that someone has treated you rudely. Let's say someone got promoted ahead of you because they took credit for your work or did something dishonest. It's natural to think: Oh, that's how the world works, or One day it will be my turn to be like that. Or most common: I'll get them for this. Except these are the worst possible responses to bad behavior.   As Marcus and Seneca both wrote, the proper response-indeed the best revenge-is to exact no revenge at all. If someone treats you rudely and you respond with rudeness, you have not done anything but prove...

"Hecato says, 'I can teach you a love potion made without any drugs, herbs, or special spell-if you would be loved, love.""-SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 9.6 (“헤카토는 말하길, '나는 약이나 약초, 또는 특별한 주문 없이 사랑의 묘약을 가르쳐 줄 수 있다. 사랑받고 싶다면, 사랑하라.'” - 세네카, 도덕적 서한, 9.6)   In 1992, Barbara Jordan addressed the Democratic National Convention and railed against the greed and selfishness and divisiveness of the previous decade. People were ready for a change. "Change it to what?" she asked. "Change that environment of the 80s to an environment which is characterized by a devotion to the public interest, public service, tolerance, and love. Love. Love. Love."   Love. Love. Love. Love. Why? Because, as the Beatles put it, “In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Not just in politics, not just in tolerance, but in our personal lives. There is almost no situation in which hatred helps. Yet almost every situation is made better by love-or empathy, understanding, appreciation-even situations in which you are in opposition to ...

"How rotten and fraudulent when people say they intend to 'give it to you straight.' What are you up to, dear friend? It shouldn't need your announcement, but be readily seen, as if written on your forehead, heard in the ring of your voice, a flash in your eyes-just as the beloved sees it all in the lover's glance. In short, the straightforward and good person should be like a smelly goat-you know when they are in the room with you."-MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.15 ("사람들이 '솔직하게 말할게'라고 할 때, 얼마나 썩어빠지고 기만적입니까. 대체 무슨 속셈인가, 친구여? 그런 말을 굳이 할 필요가 없어야 합니다. 마치그것이 당신의 이마에 쓰여 있는 것처럼, 당신의 목소리의 울림에서 들리고, 당신의 눈빛에서 반짝거려야 합니다. 마치 연인이 사랑하는 이의 눈빛에서모든 것을 알아차리는 것처럼 말입니다. 요컨대, 솔직하고 선한 사람은 마치 냄새나는 염소처럼 그들이 방 안에 있는지 바로 알 수 있어야 합니다."-마르쿠스 아우렐리우스, 《명상록》 11.15)   All of us have used phrases like that before. "I'm going to be straight-forward with here..." I'll be honest." "No disrespect but..." Empty expressions or not, they prompt the question: If you have to preface your remarks with indicators of ...

"Leave the past behind, let the grand design take care of the future, and instead only rightly guide the present to reverence and justice. Reverence so that you'll love what you've been allotted, for nature brought you both to each other. Justice so that you'll speak the truth freely and without evasion, and so that you'll act only as the law and value of things require."-MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.1 ("과거는 뒤로 하고, 위대한 계획에 미래를 맡기고, 대신 오직 현재를 경외와 정의에 올바르게 인도하십시오. 경외심은 자연이 여러분을 서로에게 가져다준 것이므로 여러분에게 주어진 것을 사랑할 수 있도록 합니다. 정의는 진실을 회피하지 않고 자유롭게 말하게 하며, 사물의 법과 가치를 요구하는 대로 행동하게 합니다." - 마르쿠스 아우렐리우스, 명상록 12.1)   Aulus Gellius relates that Epictetus once said, "If anyone would take two words to heart and take pains to govern and watch over themselves by them, they will live an impeccable and immensely tranquil life. The two words are: persist and resist." That's great advice. But what principles should determine what we persist in and what we ought to resist?   Marcus supplies that answer: reverence and justice. In other...